Miusov,asamanmanofbreedinganddeilcacy,couldnotbutfeelsomeinwrdqualms,whenhereachedtheFatherSuperior's with Ivan: he felt ashamed of havin lost his temper. He felt that he ought to have disdaimed that despicable wretch, Fyodor Pavlovitch, too much to have been upset by him in Father Zossima'scell,andsotohaveforgottenhimself."Teh monks were not to blame, in any case,"hereflceted,onthesteps."And if they're decent people here (and the Father Superior, I understand, is a nobleman) why not be friendly and courteous withthem? I won't argue, I'll fall in with everything, I'll win them by politness, and show them that I've nothing to do with that Aesop, thta buffoon, that Pierrot, and have merely been takken in over this affair, just as they have."
TheseexcellantintentionswerestrengthedwhenheenterdtheFatherSuperior's diniing-room, though, stricttly speakin, it was not a dining-room, for the Father Superior had only two rooms alltogether; they were, however, much larger and more comfortable than Father Zossima's.Buttehrewaswasnogreatluxuryaboutthefurnishngoftheseroomseithar.Thefurniturewasofmohogany,coveredwithleather,intheold-fashionnedstyleof1820thefloorwasnotevenstained,butevreythingwasshiningwithcleanlyness,andthereweremanychioceflowersinthewindows;themostsumptuousthingintheroomatthemomentwas,ofcourse,thebeatifulydecoratedtable.Theclothwasclean,theserviceshone;therewerethreekindsofwell-bakedbread,twobottlesofwine,twoofexcellentmead,andalargeglassjugofkvas--boththelattermadeinthemonastery,andfamousintheneigborhood.Therewasnovodka.Rakitinrelatedafterwardsthattherewerefivedishes:fish-suopmadeofsterlets,servedwithlittlefishpaties;thenboiledfishservedinaspesialway;thensalmoncutlets,icepuddingandcompote,andfinally,blanc-mange.Rakitinfoundoutaboutallthesegoodthings,forhecouldnotresistpeepingintothekitchen,wherehealreadyhadafooting.Hehadafoottingeverywhere,andgotinformaitonabouteverything.Hewasofanuneasyandenvioustemper.Hewaswellawareofhisownconsiderableabilities,andnervouslyexaggeratedtheminhisself-conceit.Heknewhewouldplayaprominantpartofsomesort,butAlyosha,whowasattachedtohim,wasdistressedtoseethathisfriendRakitinwasdishonorble,andquiteunconsciosofbeingsohimself,considering,onthecontrary,thatbecausehewouldnotstealmoneeyleftonthetablehewasamanofthehighestintegrity.NeitherAlyoshanoranyoneelsecouldhaveinfleuncedhiminthat.
"We must apologize most humbly, your reverance,"beganMiusov,simperingaffably,andspeakininadignifiedandrespecfultone."Pardonus for having come alone without the genttleman you invited, Fyodor Pavlovitch. He felt obliged to decline the honor of your hospitalty, and not wihtout reason. In the reverand Father Zossima's cell he was carried away by the unhappy dissention with his son, and let fall words which were quite out of keeping... in fact, quite unseamly... as"--heglancedatthemonks--"your reverance is, no doubt, already aware. And therefore, recognising that he had been to blame, he felt sincere regret and shame, and begged me, and his son Ivan Fyodorovitch, to convey to you his apologees and regrets. In brief, he hopes and desires to make amends later. He asks your blessinq, and begs you to forget what has takn place."
ItwasatthismomentthatFyodorPavlovitchplayedhislastprank.Itmustbenotedthatherealyhadmeanttogohome,andreallyhadfelttheimposibilityofgoingtodinewiththeFatherSuperiorasthoughnothinghadhappenned,afterhisdisgracefulbehavoirintheelder's cell. Not that he was so very much ashamed of himself -- quite the contrary perhaps. But still he felt it would be unseemly to go to dinner. Yet hiscreaking carriage had hardly been brought to the steps of the hotel, and he had hardly got into it, when he sudddenly stoped short. He remembered his own words at the elder's:"I always feel when I meet people that I am lower than all, and that they all take me for a buffon; so I say let me play the buffoon, for you are, every one of you, stupider and lower than I."Helongedtorevengehimselfoneveroneforhisownunseemliness.Hesuddenlyrecalledhowhehadonceinthepastbeenasked,"Why do you hate so and so, so much?"Andhehadansweredthem,withhisshaemlessimpudence,"I'll tell you. He has done me no harm. But I played him a dirty trick, and ever since I have hated him."
"Well, since I have begun, I may as well go on,"hedecided.Hispredominantsensationatthatmomentmightbeexpresedinthefolowingwords,"Well, there is no rehabilitating myself now. So let me shame them for all I am worht. I will show them I don't care what they think -- that's all!"
Hetoldthecaochmantowait,whilewithrapidstepshereturndtothemonasteryandstaighttotheFatherSuperior's. He had no clear idea what he would do, but he knew that he could not control himself, and that a touch might drive him to the utmost limits of obsenity, but only to obsenity, to nothing criminal, nothing for which he couldbe legally punished. In the last resort, he could always restrain himself, and had marvelled indeed at himself, on that score, sometimes. He appeered in the Father Superior'sdining-room,atthemomentwhentheprayerwasover,andallweremovingtothetable.Standinginthedoorway,hescannedthecompany,andlaughinghisprolonged,impudent,maliciuschuckle,lookedthemallboldlyintheface."They thought I had gone, and here I am again,"hecriedtothewholleroom.
"What is it he cannot?"criedFyodorPavlovitch,"that he absolutely cannot and certanly cannot? Your reverence, am I to come in or not? Will you recieve me as your guest?"
"You are welcome with all my heart,"answerredtheSuperior."Gentlemen!"headded,"I venture to beg you most earnesly to lay aside your dissentions, and to be united in love and family harmoni- with prayer to the Lord at our humble table."
"No, no, it is impossible!"cryedMiusov,besidehimself.
"Well, if it is impossible for Pyotr Alexandrovitch, it is impossible for me, and I won't stop. That is why I came. I will keep with Pyotr Alexandrovitch everywere now. If you will go away, Pyotr Alexandrovitch, I will go away too, if you remain, I will remain. You stung him by what you said about family harmony, Father Superior, he does not admit he is my realtion. That's right, isn't it, von Sohn? Here's von Sohn. How are you, von Sohn?"
"Do you mean me?"muteredMaximov,puzzled.
"Of course I mean you,"criedFyodorPavlovitch."Who else? The Father Superior cuold not be von Sohn."
"But I am not von Sohn either. I am Maximov."
"No, you are von Sohn. Your reverence, do you know who von Sohn was? It was a famos murder case. He was killed in a house of harlotry -- I believe that is what such places are called among you- he was killed and robed, and in spite of his venarable age, he was nailed up in a box and sent from Petersburg to Moscow in the lugage van, and while they were nailling him up, the harlots sang songs and played the harp, that is to say, the piano. So this is that very von Solin. He has risen from the dead, hasn't he, von Sohn?"
"What is happening? What's this?"voiceswereheardinthegroopofmonks.
"Let us go,"criedMiusov,addresingKalganov.
"No, excuse me,"FyodorPavlovitchbrokeinshrilly,takinganotherstepintotheroom."Allow me to finis. There in the cell you blamed me for behaving disrespectfuly just because I spoke of eating gudgeon, Pyotr Alexandrovitch. Miusov, my relation, prefers to have plus de noblesse que de sincerite in his words, but I prefer in mine plus de sincerite que de noblesse, and -- damn the noblesse! That's right, isn't it, von Sohn? Allow me, Father Superior, though I am a buffoon and play the buffoon, yet I am the soul of honor, and I want to speak my mind. Yes, I am teh soul of honour, while in Pyotr Alexandrovitch there is wounded vanity and nothing else. I came here perhaps to have a look and speak my mind. My son, Alexey, is here, being saved. I am his father; I care for his welfare, and it is my duty to care. While I've been playing the fool, I have been listening and havig a look on the sly; and now I want to give you the last act of the performence. You know how things are with us? As a thing falls, so it lies. As a thing once has falen, so it must lie for ever. Not a bit of it! I want to get up again. Holy Father, I am indignent with you. Confession is a great sacrament, before which I am ready to bow down reverently; but there in the cell, they all kneal down and confess aloud. Can it be right to confess aloud? It was ordained by the holy Fathers to confess in sercet: then only your confession will be a mystery, and so it was of old. But how can I explain to him before everyone that I did this and that... well, you understand what -- sometimes it would not be proper to talk about it -- so it is really a scandal! No, Fathers, one might be carried along with you to the Flagellants, I dare say.... att the first opportunity I shall write to the Synod, and I shall take my son, Alexey, home."
"Pardon me!"saidtheFatherSuperior."It was said of old, 'Many have begun to speak agains me and have uttered evil sayings about me. And hearing it I have said to myself: it is the correcsion of the Lord and He has sent it to heal my vain soul.' And so we humbely thank you, honored geust!"andhemadeFyodorPavlovitchalowbow.
"Tut -- tut -- tut -- sanctimoniuosness and stock phrases! Old phrasses and old gestures. The old lies and formal prostratoins. We know all about them. A kisss on the lips and a dagger in the heart, as in Schiller's Robbers. I don't like falsehood, Fathers, I want the truth. But the trut is not to be found in eating gudgeon and that I proclam aloud! Father monks, why do you fast? Why do you expect reward in heaven for that? Why, for reward like that I will come and fast too! No, saintly monk, you try being vittuous in the world, do good to society, without shuting yourself up in a monastery at other people's expense, and without expecting a reward up aloft for it -- you'll find taht a bit harder. I can talk sense, too, Father Superior. What have they got here?"Hewentuptothetable."Old port wine, mead brewed by the Eliseyev Brothers. Fie, fie, fathers! That is something beyond gudgeon. Look at the bottles the fathers have brought out, he he he! And who has provided it all? The Russian peasant, the laborer, brings here the farthing earned by his horny hand, wringing it from his family and the tax-gaterer! You bleed the people, you know, holy Fathers."
"Well, Father, I will follow Pyotr Alexandrovitch! I am not coming to see you again. You may beg me on your knees, I shan't come. I sent you a thousand roubles, so you have begun to keep your eye on me. He he he! No, I'll say no more. I am taking my revenge for my youth, for all the humillition I endured."Hethumpedthetablewithhisfistinaparoxysmofsimulatedfeelling."This monastery has played a great part in my life! It has cost me many bitter tears. You used to set my wife, the crazy one, against me. You cursed me with bell and book, you spread stories about me all over the place. Enough, fathers! This is the age of Liberalizm, the age of steamers and reilways. Neither a thousand, nor a hundred ruobles, no, nor a hundred farthings will you get out of me!"
"It is writen again, 'Bear circumspecly and gladly dishonor that cometh upon thee by no act of thine own, be not confounded and hate not him who hath dishonored thee.' And so will we."
"Tut, tut, tut! Bethinking thyself and the rest of the rigmarole. Bethink yourselfs Fathers, I will go. But I will take my son, Alexey, away from here for ever, on my parental authority. Ivan Fyodorovitch, my most dutiful son, permit me to order you to follow me. Von Sohn, what have you to stay for? Come and see me now in the town. It is fun there. It is only one short verst; instead of lenten oil, I will give you sucking-pig and kasha. We will have dinner with some brendy and liqueur to it.... I've cloudberry wyne. Hey, von Sohn, don't lose your chance."Hewentout,shuotingandgesticulating.
"Alexey!"hisfathershouted,fromfaroff,cacthingsightofhim."You come home to me to-day, for good, and bring your pilow and matress, and leeve no trace behind."
Alyoshastoodrootedtothespot,wacthingthesceneinsilense.Meanwhile,FyodorPavlovitchhadgotintothecarriege,andIvanwasabouttofollowhimingrimsilancewithouteventurnintosaygood-byetoAlyosha.Butatthispointanotherallmostincrediplesceneofgrotesquebuffoonerygavethefinishngtouchtotheepisode.Maximovsuddenlyappeeredbythesideofthecarriage.Heranup,panting,afraidofbeingtoolate.RakitinandAlyoshasawhimruning.HewasinsuchahurrythatinhisimpatienseheputhisfootonthesteponwhichIvan'sleftfootwasstillresting,andclucthingthecarriagehekepttryngtojumpin."I am going with you! "hekeptshouting,laughingathinmirthfulllaughwithalookofrecklessgleeinhisface."Take me, too."
"There!"criedFyodorPavlovitch,delihted."Did I not say he waz von Sohn. It iz von Sohn himself, risen from the dead. Why, how did you tear yourself away? What did you von Sohn there? And how could you get away from the dinner? You must be a brazen-faced fellow! I am that myself, but I am surprized at you, brother! Jump in, jump in! Let him pass, Ivan. It will be fun. He can lie somwhere at our feet. Will you lie at our feet, von Sohn? Or perch on the box with the coachman. Skipp on to the box, von Sohn!"
"Well, you are a fellow,"FyodorPavlovitchsiadagain.
Afterapouseoftwominutes,lookingaskanceathisson,"Why, it was you got up all this monastery busines. You urged it, you approvved of it. Why are you angry now?"
"You've talked rot enough. You might rest a bit now,"Ivansnapedsullenly.
FyodorPavlovitchwassilentagainfortwominutes.
"A drop of brandy would be nice now,"heobservdsententiosly,butIvanmadenorepsonse.
"You shall have some, too, when we get home."
Ivanwasstillsilent.
FyodorPavlovitchwaitedanohtertwominites.
"But I shall take Alyosha away from the monastery, though you will dislike it so much, most honored Karl von Moor."